longevitology is so amazing!奇妙的长生学！

Weeks ago, I played badminton with my son, he felt he has hitted something.Later he found out it was  a butterfly. We felt so bad as thought it died when it laid on the floor unmoved.

Suddenly I recalled recently during the class of Longevitology, a brother shared his experience, ie while burning paper money for departed one, he saw something moving, he quickly pulled out the paper, it was a lizard.He quickly used longevitology to cure it, the lizard's color turned from grey to normal color.Later it ran away.

I told myself why not, give it a try. I quickly hold its wing and placed on my palm. I placed another hand on top of it and could felt the warmth. Later,(less than 5 minutes) it moved and flew away. But,after a short while, it fell again.

This time round, it was standing still, I didn't know how to put it on my palm without hurting it. Later, I used the shuttle cock to gently lifted it up and pour to my palm, before I did another time  of longevitology, it flew away beautifully.

We  were so amazed and happy ...

A friend who also went to learnt longevitology told me that after she hold her chili tree, the next days almost all chilies turn red instead of  few.

Longevitology course- hands with love

Few years ago, my mom already asked me to join Longevitology course, as she said it is really helpful in improving one health, somemore can heal others too.

 

Finally I manage to join as the location is very nearby my house.

 

On the day after my first lesson, my youngest son complaint he had headache and stomach pain, so I placed my palm on both the areas, amazingly he fall asleep, when he woke up, he never complain any pain.

 

I have invited friends to join via email, those who joined are so thankful to me. Eg my son’s  teacher who suffered from insomnia ,managed to have a good sleep.

One of my friend who joined the course asked me ’Why such a good course, never tell me? if I know so good course, I will ask my friends and my kids to join’

I told her I have mentioned in my emails that ’ Many of my friends and relatives said this 6 days course is very effective in improving their health and also can heal others ..

She told me she was so busy and not reading my mails, actually I know she is busy hence registered for her.

She had an operation to remove tumor in her head years ago, hence when her friends do the healing for her, both her friends were shaking. Teacher said whenever our body shown reaction like pain, shaking etc means that areas got problem. No doubt no more tumor in her brain now, but the place had a major surgery before. My own experience was when I was opened chakra at my back, my back was trembling, as I sprained that area few days ago. Another friend told me her finger feel tangling sensation when she was opened the chakra on her head.

 

Another friend who used to ask me to inform her once the course started near our area told me her sister had constipation problem. Dr scheduled her for an operation, but after she did the Longevitology , her problem solved and need not to go for an operation.

 

Well, during the course we were shared by many amazing stories like longetivity even works on animal , car and remote control etc.There are many testimonials with tel no stated.

 

Well, I would say seeing is believing. It is a course worth to experience. just spend a 6 nights to have knowledge to maintain your health for whole life & many health tips. (Must not skip any night as every night open different chakra. )

 

The teacher Lin Tzu – Chen is so kind and compassionate, give free teaching thoughout the whole world.

 

The course will be conducted in mandarin, but English translation is available by renting ear phone.

 

The next class will be in Yongpeng Johor from 8.12.12-12.12.12 (Mr Tan013-7231709, 016-7111178)and Seremban from 14.12.12-19.12.12(Ms Liew li li 016-9799168,Mr Lee017-2120887).

 

For further info :

Malaysia website www.changsenxue.org

Singapore website www.handswithlove.org.sg(mobile (90124326)

Taiwan website www.longevitology.idv.tw

 

 

ORIGINAL POINT THERPHY(原始点疗法)

Months ago I received an email from Bro Ng from Johor Bahru, who strongly encourage me to attend Original Point Theraphy (OPT) (in Mandarin is called 原始点疗法). I went for the class as I believe in him as he is very kind in sharing many health tips with me. He is a helper in JB OPT center which provide free treatments.More info is available in their blog:

http://amtbjb.blogspot.com

Later I recommended my friends to attend the free course conducted in Malaysia Chung Hwa Cultural Center . All of them find OPT very useful and effective.They are so grateful to know OPT.(For further info on the course conducted in Malaysia, please refer:原始點醫學講座馬來西亞報導 (http://cch-foundation.org/wp/))

Since all my friends have given me such a good comment, later I enrolled for OPT class in English.

In the class, a young girl share her experience in OPT. Few years ago, she fell down from 1^st floor with both legs landed on the ground.

Ever since then, she has lots of health problems, like asthma, leg cramp, insomnia etc. However she didn’t know all these discomforts are due to her fall.

Till one day her friend told her’Base on your symptoms, probably is due to problems with nerves.’ Then she visited 3 chiropractors.

She spent money to do MRI, however cannot detect any things wrong. However the x ray shown that few bones in her backbones/ spine has been dislocated. The injury to the “muscle’’(筋伤) is the root cause.

She realized that the last chiropractor’s method（stretching exercises/拉筋）is very similar to OPT. The only difference is OPT emphasis 2 other main points ie supply external and internal heat. She felt great relieve after learning OPT.

Bro.Ng whose wife was passed away due to cancer, in his email he mentioned:”It is too late for me to get to know OPT(我与 OPT 相逢恨晚)， otherwise my wife will still be around. Since her departure, I have been studying hard to look for an answer. With her blessing , thus far, I know OPT is the answer to most if not all medical problems today, including cancer and all chronic diseases. That's why i throw in my resources promoting it - to walk a wish unrealized by my beloved wife. “

Actually the founder for OPT （原始點創始人張釗漢醫師）also started to study OPT due to losing his beloved wife due to cancer.

 

According to OPT, illness are originated from cold constitution of our body.( 寒性体质). 2 root causes to cause this coldness is

1)  via direct injury:injury/sprain/tear of tendon/scald/stabbed etc

2)  via internal factors(内缘)： stress,worries, anger, anxiety, insomnia, fatique, inappropriate consuming of medicines, consuming cold diet(eg sour, sweet, cold drinks, cold vege or fruits) & external factors(外缘)：pollution, flu, cold, incorrect posture, inappropriate operation.etc.

 

How to do OPT?

Basically there are 2 key points in OPT

1) massage on the pain points to break ice follow by

2) supply external heat (eg hot pack, warm blanket, infra red light etc)and internal heat (drink ginger tea)to melt ice and diffuse it.

All pain points are located beside bones. In Mandarin called 筋(it is actually the tissue consist of muscle/nerve/ blood vessel/tendon ). Normally we don’t massage the body parts which manifest pains, as that is not the pain points.

Basic rule to find the pain points are:

1)  any discomfort in front part of body, find the points at the back of the spines.

2)  any pains around the back of body, go to the spine parallel to the pain points.

3)  Bottom of spines, find the upper part of spines.

How much preassure to put?

Not too light, else no effect. To the level of pain that patient is able to bear.

How to boil  ginger tea?

It is good to boil ginger tea using fresh ginger(including skin), without sugar better still. Must drink while it is HOT or WARM. Alternatively can use ginger powder or bring along fresh ginger, sliced and pour hot water , let the ginger soak in a flask.

For further guidelines on pain points and how to massage the pain points, please go to www.cch-foundation.org.or You tube.

AmtbJB •新山原始点中心•: 吉隆玻原始点 - 仁康堂

AmtbJB •新山原始点中心•: 吉隆玻原始点 - 仁康堂: 吉隆玻原始点 - 仁康堂将于 星期六 17-11-2012 开放给公众体验原始点疗法· ，欢迎对張釗漢醫師 所研发的 有兴趣者前来 体验 交流 。 地点：Renkern Acupuncture & Wellness Centre 仁康堂      ...

Ancient Chinese wisdom for a better and happier life

Dear friends,

I have benefited a lot by attending Dizigui classes. The wisdom of our ancestors has transformed me to a better and happier person. Hope u will grasp this golden opportunity to be enrich our life. As indeed it is rarely to have classes in English.Anyway, u may also read articles in their website by clicking the left top button"english" in order to read article in english.May you be well and happy always...

with metta,

Chew Poh

Dizigui November 12-18, 2012. Enrollment Information

---

I have benefited a lot by attending Dizigui classes organised by Chung Hua Cultural Education Centre. The wisdom of Chinese ancestors has transformed me to a better and happier person. Hope u will grab this golden opportunity to be enrich our life by attending the 7-day Dizigui course . It is indeed rarely to have classes in English.For those who are unable to attend, u may read articles in English in their website by clicking the left top button"english". May you be well and happy always...

 

Dizigui November 12-18, 2012. Enrollment Information

 

Time: 12/11/2012 - 18/11/2012

 

Location: Chung Hua Cultural Education Centre, Selangor, Malaysia

We will have another exciting 7-day Dizigui course especially developed for English-speaking fellow friends and families. This Dizigui or Guide to a Happy Life course is developed by Ms. Song Poh Lan. Ms. Song has extensive experience in this area, being an educator/promoter/learner herself for more than a decade. She spearheaded the spreading of Dizigui to the Chinese communities in Malaysia 10 years ago. Now, she is holding the torch for the English-speaking communities.

For the past 3 years, we have conducted more than 8 Dizigui sessions with very positive results from the participants. Business leaders, well-known writers, school teachers, parents, students, and others have attended our classes. One participant quoted that Dizigui helped him to make better decisions in life. Another participant quoted that should she have known Dizigui a long time ago, she would have been able to teach her students with greater patience and compassion.

For more information about the course, please contact the English Department, 03-89427792/3/4/5 or visit our website at http://english.mchunghua.org.

The next course is from November 12-18, 2012.
You may download the application here word doc or pdf. The application deadline is October 22, 2012. Only those who are 18 years old and above are advised to apply.

李志祥博士-如何与孩子明确沟通

李志祥博士说现代父母/师长不易当。一般上，父母亲在未当父母之前，都没有上教育孩子的课程。他们大部分都会依据本身父母的教育模式来教育自己的孩子。然而，因为我们被带大的方式，随着大时代的转变，对现代孩子已经不管用。现在的孩子没有安全的环境让他们自由自在在大自然成长。

。

许多家庭都是双薪家庭。父母常常过于操劳而身心耗竭。父母情绪转移，必然会发生。更何况在这kiasu(怕输)的年代， 往往孩子的表现决定父母的价值。父母见面时常常是比较孩子学业成绩的时刻。这种情况也造成现在的孩子自我要求非常高

三个沟通的主要元素及所占的比率是

身体语言55%

声调38%

内容7%

沟通形式普遍上可分为三种，即

1）被动型沟通。

采取这类型沟通的人自信心不足。不愿坦诚分享个人看法，感受，需求。自尊心较低。害怕伤害他人或自己，怕被批评。身体常低头。

2）攻击型

采取这类型沟通的人常常責備，控訴他人。认为旁人应对他的感受负责。他们常用的句子是以‘你總是。。。，或’你從不。。。 为开端。

3）明确型

采取这类型沟通的人以健康，沒防衛，不固执的方式表达自己。对自己，对别人尊重，正面的态度。

不同类型的亲子沟通态度 会影响双方的 关系， 输赢 及亲密度。 倘若双方都是被动型沟通者，他们之间的关系是无力的，亲密度是低的，也是双输的局面。

倘若父母采纳攻击型沟通方式，而孩子则是被动型沟通。在这种情况下的孩子会缺乏自信心，退缩，情绪易压抑, 可能会导致孩子忧郁。这样的沟通模式，短期内似乎父母赢，然而，长期来看，皆是双输的局面。

倘若双方都是攻击型沟通者，则常常会产生冲突，亲密度是低的，也是双输的局面。

假设双方都是明确型沟通者，那么双方都会缔造一个双赢的局面，大家也能充分的成长。所以父母亲，应该学习明确型的与孩子沟通。

李志祥博士说父母应检讨自己的管教方式，假使更本行不通，就要利用创造力去思考其他方法。一般上行不通的管教方式包括了

1）  过于权威/指责

2）  唠叨

3）  过于粘腻

4）  爱比较

产生冲突之因与解决之法如下：

1）  有些父母喜欢讲反话也不善于表达内心实际的感受。比如在焦急的等待迟归的孩子时，一见到孩子就破口大骂，而非把心里的担心告知孩子。父母应用‘讲我‘讯息来和孩子沟通，既是先讲事件对我产生的影响及我的感受。比如孩子常常不收拾，可以这样告诉他。’你每次都乱丢东西，不收拾，结果妈妈得帮你找。我每次都要重复帮你收拾，我很累。

2）  不做‘法官’。比如两个学生在打架，往往会不分青红皂白的责骂较调皮的学生。或者说谁先出手，谁错在先。其实，应当马上分开两个人，安顿好他们的情绪，才问争执的原因。

3）  发生重大的事件，造成生活改变，如分居，离婚或争执等。

李志祥博士提及父母不应忽略语言的力量，他也特别播放了一则短影片，来表达这讯息。片中的中学生因为考试不及格而遭到父亲的责骂，他心想反正自己用功后，还是考不好，于是就放弃努力。反观，另一个相反的情节是当父亲知道孩子考试不及格后，安慰孩子道‘爸爸知道你已经尽力了，下次再努力。’这样反而更能激励孩子发奋努力的动机。孩子急需父母的肯定。肯定不仅仅是称赞孩子而已，它还需要诚恳及具体的表达欣赏孩子的缘由。为了表示诚恳，父母必须放下手上的工作，跟孩子说话时，注视着孩子。

父母应和孩子分享工作的情趣，而非向孩子抱怨工作的辛苦或劳累或被老板责骂等负面讯息，因为那样会造成孩子以后不想往工作。

孩子听到什么，比父母说了什么，更重要。所以，父母应把握‘机会教育’来教育孩子。尤其是当孩子主动来问我们时，就应把握教育的良机。

李志祥博士也说家长的情绪，行为比命令更有效。他举例，一个在饭厅里到处走动的孩子，即便是妈妈一再的叮咛她不要走动，她仍然不听。与其唠叨而让自己气煞，正确的行为是将孩子带到餐桌上，严厉并清楚的告诉她‘你这样爬上爬下，妈妈很担心，也吃不下，妈妈现在给你一只手表，你得坐在椅子上等长针从六走到九时，就能下来走动。

身教重于言教和境教。因此，如果父母要孩子喜欢阅读，自己应该常常阅读，并和孩子分享阅读的喜悦。

父母应该期许自己和孩子共同成长，先改变自己，才能改变孩子。

HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY LIFE ?

Base on ancient Chinese wisdom, our happiness are depending on whether we are having right views about life.Also how much we have put these view into practice in our daily life.

Below are some of the right views that will promote our overall happiness


1。Believe that everyone is originally have a good heart.坚信人之初，性本善。
2。No matter what we face, we must always understand the root causes面对任何境界，时时明白原因
3。Must follow the great sage's teaching , not follow our worries and bad habits要随圣贤教诲，不随顺自己的烦恼和习气。
4。Everything are subject to cause and effect.if we can know the  root causes and consequences of everything,then we are very close to have the wisdom. The root cause is morality.「物有本末，事有终始，知所前后，则近道矣」。根=德行
5。Only if we can master our EMOTION,then we are able to master our FUTURE.掌握情绪，才能掌握未来。
6。The most important question to ask is"whether we have done rightfully? whether we are good enough? ' We must not expect others to be right and good first. As when we have tried our best to do our responsibilities and not expecting anything from others, we won't have complaints. 自己对不对，自己好不好，最重要，先不要求别人。正己而不求于人，则无怨。
7。We should look for ways to achieve success. Don't  find excuses for failure.宁为成功找方法，不为失败找理由。
8。We  ourselve must lead by example and let our good example be our children's guide. If the father is kind, the son will be filial,the whole family will be prosperous. Among the good value to be passed on are: filial piety, hard work, diligent and obedient.以身教与德行来承传家风。「子孝父心宽，家和万事兴」
「孝悌为传家之本，
勤俭为持家之本，
谨慎为保家之本，
和顺为齐家之本。」
「若真修道人，不见时间过」
If we accuse each others, it will be lose lose situation
「各自责，则天翻地覆」
The most blessed one are those who are willing to accept noble teaching from the sage
福在受谏， 肯接受圣贤教诲的人，最有福。
The happiest person is who not commit any guilty actions. Those who are sincere in their actions will enjoy true happiness
「大乐莫如无愧怍，至诚乃得经纶」
Forget about others' illwill or bad speech/actions to us. Do not ill treat others. Do not indulge ourselve with worldly enjoyments, be kind to every living beings
「不念旧恶，不恶人，不染世乐，慈悲一切。」
We should reflect if our morality have touched our subordinates?
1) Have we lead by example
2)Do we take care our subordinate as we treat our own people?
 3) Have we seized every opportunity to guide/teach them?
反省自己的德行，有否感动下属？自己是否有做到君，亲，师？
君：是否有以身作则，树立好榜样？
亲：是否有爱护下属如自己人一样？
师：是否有把握时机引导他们，教诲他们？
9。We must always care for the harmony for all. Do not forget our 'initial heart'.The whole  'Di Zi Gui' teach us to be controlable on our bad habits. Eg when our parents scolded us, we must learn to accept  their scolding. Every couple when married are having intention to bring happiness to their spouse, so do not forget the 'initial heart' by getting divorce easily, and cause injuries in kids. Lately many incidents of teenagers commit suicide were from single parent family. They have conveyed a message that they need a warm family.

A mother inlaw should regards her daugther in law as her own daughter.
A daughter inlaw must treat her mother inlaw as her own mother.

If a wife quarrel with her husband, she should not go back to her parents house to complain. instead should make sure she has done her duties in managing  her family.
以大局为重，不忘初心。
弟子规，从头到尾都教育我们忍住习性。如父母责，须顺承。
许多夫妻当初结婚，都是为了要给对方幸福，所以要「不忘初心」不要轻易离婚，伤害无辜的孩子。最近，常发生单亲家庭的孩子自杀，他们只期待一个温暖的家。
好婆婆把媳妇视如己出的爱心。
好媳妇把婆婆当自己的妈妈看，和先生发生吵架，不能回去娘家。把家里打理好。
10。Whenever we encounter problems or anything do not match our wish, we should try to ask ourselve, which area shall I improve? where is my weakness? How shall I improve? Reflect on our actions and forgive others. When we realise that our kids' bad behavior is coping our behabior. When we realised that it is not easy for us to rectify the bad bahavior,then we will be more tolerance and accepting our kids. Only if we WANT to CHANGE,the we CAN GUIDE our kids to change.
When we understand the person growing background or we know that they have no chance to learn good morality and hence  commit wrong actions/speech. When we started to compassionate them and not culculative with them, we forgive them for hurting our feeling.
By disolving the conflicts, we are creating good karma. If everyone blame ourselve, instead of others, the world will be  a peaceful place for all.

行有不得，反求诸己。
反省自己，原谅对方。当我们发现孩子的习气是拷贝了我们，当我们了解要改变自己的习气并非易事，我们会更包容及接纳孩子，唯有自己想改变，才能引导孩子改变。
当我们了解一个人的成长背景，或他们因为无缘接触善知识而造业，我们因为悲悯他们的处境，而不跟他们计较，他们言行举止上对我们造成的伤害，原谅他们。
化解冲突，结善缘。「各自责，天清地宁」
倘若你认为以上的内容很好，想进一步阅读，你可上www.xuefo.net.或到中华文化教育中心索取免费流通的DVD。

Comments on The Star's article Family now comes first for formerly 'busy' doctor who lost his son

The full article from The Star newspaper:                 

Family now comes first for formerly ‘busy’ doctor who lost his son

By LIM WEY WEN
wwen@thestar.com.my

KLANG: After losing his son in May, skin specialist Dr Ko Chung Beng no longer works on Sundays. Instead, he spends more time with his family.
“When I looked at my son's ashes, I realised that when you leave this world, you can't bring anything that you have worked so hard for with you.
“Now, family is the most important thing in my life and my work comes second,” he said.
Although reliving the moment prior to his son's death is painful, Dr Ko does not mind going through the anguish rather than see another child die a senseless death.

Better days: This recent photo of Dr Ko and Steven is still part of a collage on Dr Ko’s clinic wall. Dr Ko now shares his sad experience with others so other parents do not make the same mistake. — Photo courtesy of Dr Ko

“Painful as it is, if what happened to me can be a lesson to other parents, and if it can help to save lives or improve parent-child relationships in this country, then I feel that something positive has come out of this sad incident,” said Dr Ko in an interview.
Steven, his 24-year-old son, was found dead at the ground floor of a shopping mall multi-storey car park in Penang in May.
Since then, Dr Ko has been frank about his feelings and thoughts over Steven's death.
“My regret is that like many other parents, I was always busy working. I felt that I had not spent enough time with my children to guide them and teach them about life.
“I think that was why Steven tended to spend more time with his friends and became very reliant on friendships,” he said, adding that the reliance might have made Steven value those friendships even more than life.
It is due to this that Dr Ko has repeatedly called on parents in press interviews and talk circuits to spend more quality time with their children especially when they are young.
“Have a lot of heart-to-heart talks, share your feelings and thoughts.
“When you are having deep conversations you are connected. And when you are connected, you can communicate,” he added.
Dr Ko also lamented that the young today might be suffering from overemphasis on academic qualifications.
“Parents tend to overemphasise on IQ development, but we musn't neglect the EQ (emotional quotient) and character-building component which is more important,” he said.
He said parents must ensure that children read books that teach them about life rather than just focusing on books related to exams.
Dr Ko and his daughter Emily both love books, and they now dream of building a public library in memory of Steven.
He also urged children to always remember that their family should be more important to them than friends.
“They may feel more comfortable with friends with whom they share many common interests, but if they face any problem, they should share it with their parents because parents have more experience in life,” he said.
Dr Ko also reminded parents never to take signs of distress lightly.
“When your children tell you that they feel lost, it is no joke. Drop everything and spend time with them until they tell you why because it can be very serious,” he said, adding that Steven had also said that he felt lost some weeks before his death.

cheers,
JoANnE

Below is my comments:

Well, I have read this news from Sin Chew, despite Dr Ko bought brand new sport car for his son, his son ended his life at young age due to breaking off with her girl friend

There are many lessons we can learn from his story, incl

1)Do not neglect EQ. Children learn the best by learning from those people surrounding them or mass media.

2)Material cannot buy real happiness

3)Parents should not try to fulfil 100% of whatever their children's need , as once they can't get what they desire, they will not accept the reality

4)To have a good parent-child relationship. Building good relationship with kids by having heart-to -heart talks since young, as it is very ackward to start later. If kids refuse to share, parents can guide by sharing their feeling/thoughts first with their children

5)Be sensitive to children's feeling or facial expression. Do not take signs of distress lightly.

This story again reminded me to what Teacher Chai Li Xu always mentioned in his lectures. ie:

The most important thing in life is not making money, but to educate our children to be a wholesome being(至要莫若教子) (a human being who know how to differentiate right and wrong. Di Zi Gui have given a set of clear guidelines on do and don't for a good person) In order to be a good person,the FIRST thing a person must do is to be filial to our parents. Among them we should not commit any actions or speech that will bring shame or worries to our parents.

I find we are so lucky to live in Malaysia, as almost everyday there will be lessons at Chung Hua Cultural Education Centre (M) at The Heritage,Seri Kembangan(opposite the Mines) which give us so much wisdom from ancient Chinese.

Every Monday and Wednesday night 8-9.30am (mandarin class)

Thurdays night 8-9.30(english class)

Friday night 8-9.30(music class)

Sat afternoon(2-5pm)(traditional chinese class.古文班)

Their contact no is 03-89382799

email:mlj@dizigui.com.my

website:www.dizigui.com.my.

If you have a facebook, you can like cai li xu (蔡礼旭) homepage, there will be a cartoon series which promote moral values, which I find is a very good education tool in teaching moral value

to our children.(with English wordings)

Nowadays with the advancement of technologies, lots of talks/lessons are easily accessable from website or youtube.

Puai Chai School SS2 PIBG also very kind in arranging a series of FREE PARENTING talks in ENGLISH on selected Saturday at their school auditorium to spread ancient Chinese wisdom.The speakers are normally from at Chung Hua Cultural Education Centre (M) too.

BMHA Understanding depression with kindness forum.

6th July, 2012- I attended a special forum organized by KL Buddhist Mental Health Association(BMHA) with the title, "Understanding Depression with Kindness." Itwas a very informative and inspiring forum, whereby Dr. Phang Cheng Kar (psychiatrist& president of BMHA) explained that depression is more than just occasionallow mood - it is a serious psychological illness! Among the main common symptoms of depression are persistent feelings of sadness with crying spells,easily tired, and lost of interest in doing things. More serious symptoms include suicidal thoughts or attempt. Dr. Phang stressed that just like physical illness,patients who have depression can use antidepressant medication to treat their depression effectively. Antidepressant is non-addictive and safe. However, effective treatment of depression should be individualized and include non-medication strategies. Thirty minutes of daily exposure to sunlight can brighten up mood.Regular exercise, (e.g. brisk walking at least 3 times a week, 30 minutes eachtime) stimulates the production of feel good chemicals in the brain. Healthy eating habit with balanced nutrition is important. Moderate coffee consumption(not more than 2-3 cup a day) may be helpful for boosting energy (provided thatyou do not have anxiety symptoms, able to tolerate coffee, and don't take it atnight). Food rich in omega fatty acids, e.g. fish, soy milk, canola oil arenourishing for the depressive brain. Counselling and more specializedpsychotherapy, (e.g. cognitive behavioural therapy - CBT) are also helpful. Friends and family support is extremely important. Dr. Phang ended his sharing by giving a meaningful quote, "If you have depression, it does not mean that you are weak - it probably means that you have been too strong for too long." It is crucial for patients with depression to 'ACCEPT' their illness with kindness and seek for professional help. This message was echoed by all the three special guests, who had experienced the dark moments of depression, and sharing their experience inthe forum. Venerable Kumara(Buddhist monk and meditation teacher from Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary)explained that, from a Buddhist perspective, the root cause of depression ismental defilements like craving and aversion. In this state, the wholesome qualities of the mind, such as confidence, energy and wisdom, are weak. Hence,it is very important to increase the wholesome qualities. In line with this,BMHA has developed"3G-Gratitude," which is card game for cultivating these beautiful qualities. The moderator, Ms. Low MiYen (clinical psychologist) then invited 3 specials guests, all Sisters who hadgone through depression to share on how they discovered their illness, cope with it, and their friends and family had supported them. The first Sister sharedthat she started off with mood swings, crying most of time and having suicidal thoughts. She was referred by her general practitioner to a psychiatrist for further assessment. She was given a set of questionnaires to answer and wentthrough a thorough interview. Both 'tests' showed that she had depression. For the second Sister,she was having negative personality since young. She had a few times committed self-injury. But due to lack of awareness, her family members did not send herfor treatment. However in 2004, when she had very strong urge to end her life,she was finally admitted to a psychiatric ward for treatment. Even though sherealized that she had repeated low moods since 15 years old, she never sought professional help. She tried to cope by reading motivational and religious books. However all were in vain. "Please get professional help early!" emphasized the Sister, who is on treatment for Bipolar Depression. Even now and then, she has unpleasant thoughts and feelings. She is aware of them and reminds herself,"I must keep myself busy in doing work, e.g. jogging and charity work. Thebad feeling will come and go eventually." Another Sister said that after learning techniques in Mindful-Gym, she is more mindful of her thoughts, able to think positively, and response wisely to problems in life. Mindful-Gym is a mindfulness based stress reduction and wellness program organized by BMHA. As for the last Sister,it began with poor concentration in doing things, lost of interest inactivities that she used to like, excessive fear without reasons, reluctance to talk, feeling moody and sad. Ms. Mi Yen explained that a lot of people cannot accept the fact that they are having depression. This is worsen by social stigma and wrong views about depression. Kindness from friends and family members is therapeutic and it facilitates acceptance. We also need to understand that acceptance is not an on-off switch - it is a gradual process.People may need to go through stages of shock or disbelieve, anger, blaming before final acceptance. Venerable Kumara added a witty remark to that, "If you cannot accept, at least accept that you cannot accept." When asked how they wish they can be supported by their friends and family, they said, "a listening ear and smiling face." Physical touch with care, e.g. holding hands,hugging, a pat on the shoulder also meana lot to them. In short, kindness,friendship, listening ears are all very meaningful to people suffering with depression; be kind to them and slowly guide them out from the darkness of depression. "People surrounding them must be kind and understanding to them. They do not choose tobe like that, e.g. lack of energy, slow in thinking, not motivated, not productive. The worst thing to tell a person with depression is, 'Why are youso lazy!?" Why do you have to do that to me?! (ignoring the fact that'laziness' is part and parcel of the illness)," reminded Dr. Phang, echoing and championing the voice of hispatients. An audience shared herown experience, "Loving ourselves does not mean that we are selfish. We must love ourselves first, then we are able to love others better. Ms Mi Yen affirmed her view by adding a comment by Ajahn Brahmavamso (Buddhist meditation monk), "When we have worked too hard and are tired of holding a bottle for so long, we should put it down, even for a few minutes; it is always easier when we take it up again - be kind to ourselves." An audience asked if a patient with depression is suitable to practice meditation. Dr. Phang said meditation is only suitable for those with mild depression. For those with severe depression(e.g. suicidal, hearing voices, extremely restless), meditation is not suitable; stabilization with medications and family support are more importantat this phase of the illness. Venerable Kumara shared that for people withmental illness, such as depression, it is better to meditate while walking, asit is easier to practise awareness that way. They can also do that in daily activities, e.g. sweeping the floor, exercising, washing. It is important thatwe do not use meditation as an avoidance strategy to run away from life problems, stressed Ven. Kumara. Another audience asked if depression is genetically inherited. Dr Phang said, "Yes," but it is not 100 percent. That is why some people with family history of depression donot get it. There are many things that we can do to influence gene expression and prevent depression. Related to that, someone asked Venerable Kumara on whether depression is due to past kamma? "If you're referring to something you did in the past life, I honestly don't know. What we experience now is a result of past conditions. We can't change that. What's important though is how we relate with what is happening now. That's the new kamma that would make all the difference. For example, if we regard depression with kindness, then that's good kamma, that is a condition for the healing of depression," commented Venerable Kumara. It is so inspiring to see several audience openly shared their journey with depression - they are socourageous! By the end of the forum, the shadows of depression were transformed into melody of kindness, hope and wisdom - it is truly wonderful. I am so grateful for the opportunity to attend this forum. Thank you. You can also view the report from the attachment or BMHA's blog. Kindly circulate this to those who may benefit from the program. All are welcome . Have a joyful day & thank you. This wellness program is brought to you by: Transforming Problems, Discovering Happiness! Mudita, Dr. Phang Cheng Kar President, BMHA BMHA Website BMHA Facebook Coming BMHA activities (subjected to law of uncertainty) Mindful-Gym Relaxation REST-Shop (June & November intake, Brickfields Maha Vihara) Talk: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (Dr. Phang, 28/7/2012, Sentul Buddhist Temple, 8pm) Talk: Abhidhamma for Mental Health (Bro. Rob Moult, 29/9/2012, Sentul Buddhist Temple, 3pm) Talk: Neurasthenia - A Traditional Medicine Perspective (Dr. Ai Sim, 27/10/2012, Sentul Buddhist Temple, 3pm) T-Lotus S.A.D. (Stress, Anxiety & Depression) Support Group is meeting monthly & welcoming more members to benefit from the support group. - For further information, kindly contact Sis. Kim Yeok - kyyeoh_55@yahoo.com.sg A brief introduction of BMHA: Kuala Lumpur Buddhist Mental Health Association (BMHA) was established on 1/3/2010 for promoting mental health in the Buddhist community through Buddhist psychology & Buddhism-influenced psychotherapies. Objectives of BMHA: To provide guidelines on principles, standards and ethics for the practice of Buddhism-influenced Counseling and Psychotherapy. To offer opportunities for professional training and development of its members in Buddhism-influenced Counseling and Psychotherapy. To promote education and practice of Buddhism-influenced Counseling and Psychotherapy in the community. To collaborate with and support other Buddhist organizations that will benefit from Buddhism-influenced Counseling and Psychotherapy. To facilitate research related to Buddhism-influenced Counseling and Psychotherapy.

3 important questions for success

1) When is the most important time? 2) Who is the most important person? 3) What is the most important thing to do? The answers is 1) now 2) the one who are with you at this moment(boss,client, kids, spouse etc) 3) to care If everyone can do these, there will be success either at work or with any relationship.