First few years crucial for kids' development
17 October 2011
Last Monday, I went to my six-year-old boy's kindergarten to get his report card. The first sentence his class teacher said was, “Your boy is very smart.” I asked her why she said so. She said that whenever she told him that he had made some mistakes in his homework, he would correct it automatically, without coming back to ask her what his mistakes were.
She also commented that my son is not only smart, but also has very good motor skills, and his body is so soft and skilful when he performs gymnastics.
He couldn't be more different from my eldest boy who is not as smart as his brother, and has poor motor skills.
I still remember when he was in Year One and on one occasion I let him take some food packed in a plastic bag to school. When he came back, the food still remained in his school bag. I asked him why he did not eat the food and he said he did not know how to untie the plastic bag.
Based on my experience in raising my sons, I note that the following factors can affect a child's intelligence:
1) Take away the pacifier and let the baby explore the environment observed by an adult.
All my sons crawled a lot when they were learning to move around. I even let them crawl up and down the staircase freely. However, my eldest son was taken care of by my mother-in-law who is very worried about hygiene. As a result, he used the pacifier more because she was afraid he would put something in his mouth and he missed out on training his fine motor skills. The action of putting food in the mouth, which he wasn't allowed to practise, involves hand-eye coordination.
Many years ago, I attended a talk by a counsellor who said he had met a young boy who could not walk properly as the parents loved him too much and were scared he would fall down. Hence, they always carried him and didn't allow him to crawl. It is really sad to hear this kind of story.
2) Train kids to use chopsticks from as young as possible.
I did not expose both my elder sons to use chopsticks when they were young. One day, when I saw my cousin's three-year-old daughter using chopsticks to eat I was so amazed. I told my youngest boy that if he used the chopsticks to eat his meal, he would be smart. Since he is very “kiasu” (competitive), he decided he would learn to master the chopsticks. When we use chopsticks, many of our fingers will be involved. The movements of our fingers will stimulate our brain.
3) Let kids play building blocks.
My youngest son, like his second brother, loves to play with building blocks,especially Lego. Hence both my younger sons have good fine motor skills and they are more creative than my eldest son. You may ask me why I did not let my eldest son play with blocks. Well, I exposed him to those toys too, however he didn't seem interested and preferred reading.
4) Breastfeed our kids.
Cow's milk is for calves to drink. We should breastfeed our baby as long as possible. I only breastfed my eldest son for 1 1/2 month as I had to leave him to work away from home. However, I breastfed my youngest son for 10 months. Comparing both of them, my youngest son is healthier, smarter and more secure. Actually, I planned to breastfeed him as long as I could. However, at 10 months, he bit my nipple. As it was so painful, I pinched him and warned him not to bite me in future or I would not give him breast milk. Guess what? The next day he refused my breast. I thought he was not feeling well. The days after he still refused my breast. At that moment, I realised that I had made such a big mistake by pinching and warning him. He was scared of my punishment, so he decided to give up breast milk. Don't you think he is smart?
Pauline Lee Chew Poh
This article was copied from www.parenthots.com
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Saying goodbye to anxieties
Why we worries or afraid? As majority of our worries would not happen.If it happen, something worse will happen. Eg a young kid scare to visit dentist. However the mother dragged him.however, when they reached the appointment was canceled.
Why worries?
1) Some people like worrying.
Eg people like to watch soap opera as they are eager to know what is going to happen next week.Some people like to go for death drop to scare themselves.
Fear is magnetic, it draws what u afraid of to you.What you fear of is going to happen as you make it to happen.If you want to avoid what you scare of, don't be afraid.
2) Looking of the future and think of bad things.
Some people scare to take flight as scare of explosion by terrorists.However Ajahn Brahm think differently.He regards if that tragedy really happen, it has 4 benefits
1)instant cremation
2)cheap Creamation
3)can make money from insurance
4)the death place is so close to heaven.
Look at the future with POSITIVE ATTITUDE, in order to attract success.
Sometimes, ignorance is bliss,stupid is blessing.
3)Worries arisen from negative attitude towards life
Fear may cause us over reaction on certain things, may turn small things to big things.eg in forest during night time, heard a sound, thought is tiger or bear, however it is just a mouse.
Do not try to counter react with your emotion. Find correspondence physical feeling and massage the discomfort areas in your body. Once physical feeling disappeared, emotion feeling also disappeared.
Simple mindfulness technique will help to relieve anxieties too. Be mindful when you notice the bad experience / trauma/ phobia. Catch them very early,it is easier to stop.
Feel body sensation and be calm
Sing a happy song.
Relax all muscles iN your body, feel relax then move to another parts of the body.
There are 2 Chicken farmers. The first farmer bring back the chicken poo to his house everyday. The second farmer collect the eggs, eat the eggs and sell the rest. He collect the chicken poo and Let it rotten and become fertilizer.
We are like the first farmer if we use to remember Bad things and others' mistakes. If we always remember wonderful things then we are like second farmer.
If we focus on mistake, we will make more mistakes. If we focus on success, we will be success.
Wellington College in UK make meditation a compulsory subject as it will increase the result.
If we control so much or fight so much, we will feel tired and frustrated, will give up too. Hence must know how to relax or rest. May find a time our room ( no SMS, no hand phone etc )
A boy did badly in his exam, Ajahn Brahm praise him as bodhisattva (a person who motivated by great compassion), as being the last in the class, he sacrificed his own happiness for others. However Ajahn Brahm told him not to be selfish, next year must let others to be Bodhisattva.
Why worries?
1) Some people like worrying.
Eg people like to watch soap opera as they are eager to know what is going to happen next week.Some people like to go for death drop to scare themselves.
Fear is magnetic, it draws what u afraid of to you.What you fear of is going to happen as you make it to happen.If you want to avoid what you scare of, don't be afraid.
2) Looking of the future and think of bad things.
Some people scare to take flight as scare of explosion by terrorists.However Ajahn Brahm think differently.He regards if that tragedy really happen, it has 4 benefits
1)instant cremation
2)cheap Creamation
3)can make money from insurance
4)the death place is so close to heaven.
Look at the future with POSITIVE ATTITUDE, in order to attract success.
Sometimes, ignorance is bliss,stupid is blessing.
3)Worries arisen from negative attitude towards life
Fear may cause us over reaction on certain things, may turn small things to big things.eg in forest during night time, heard a sound, thought is tiger or bear, however it is just a mouse.
Do not try to counter react with your emotion. Find correspondence physical feeling and massage the discomfort areas in your body. Once physical feeling disappeared, emotion feeling also disappeared.
Simple mindfulness technique will help to relieve anxieties too. Be mindful when you notice the bad experience / trauma/ phobia. Catch them very early,it is easier to stop.
Feel body sensation and be calm
Sing a happy song.
Relax all muscles iN your body, feel relax then move to another parts of the body.
There are 2 Chicken farmers. The first farmer bring back the chicken poo to his house everyday. The second farmer collect the eggs, eat the eggs and sell the rest. He collect the chicken poo and Let it rotten and become fertilizer.
We are like the first farmer if we use to remember Bad things and others' mistakes. If we always remember wonderful things then we are like second farmer.
If we focus on mistake, we will make more mistakes. If we focus on success, we will be success.
Wellington College in UK make meditation a compulsory subject as it will increase the result.
If we control so much or fight so much, we will feel tired and frustrated, will give up too. Hence must know how to relax or rest. May find a time our room ( no SMS, no hand phone etc )
A boy did badly in his exam, Ajahn Brahm praise him as bodhisattva (a person who motivated by great compassion), as being the last in the class, he sacrificed his own happiness for others. However Ajahn Brahm told him not to be selfish, next year must let others to be Bodhisattva.
Monday, September 26, 2011
How to change our destiny ?
In Chinese character,the word destiny (命) if we break up the word it is consist of 3 words, 人,一,叩 meaning that once a man bow down to pay respect, his destiny will be changed.As the action of bow down to pay respect is supported by filial piety or respect.Once a person has these 2 attitude, his destiny will change automatically. Hence it is important to educate our children with correct thinking. Do we know what are our kids thinking now? Are their thought kind or bad? May be we should ask ourselves this question too.
Our life must like eating sugar cane from the top, when we eat closer to the root, the sweeter the taste. In our earlier part of life, we should work hard (including educate our kids properly).During the old age, enjoy the harvest.
Nowadays, we celebrate birthday with our kids even they are 2 or 3 years old. This is wrong as they are not contributing to the society yet.Actually it is an action which should not be encouraged. In fact, our birthday is our mother's suffering date,hence should thank our mother for bringing us to this world and for her hardship in delivering us also in bringing up us.
If we have bad habits, it is hard to change. However, we must take full responsibilities to change.
Many parents complaints that they teenagers are rebellious to them. Kids must be given proper education (eg instilling good moral values)since young age, then it is easier to teach.Just like playing badminton, we must take the shuttle cock when it is high. If the shuttle cock
is closer to the floor, it is harder to take.
曾国藩, Zeng Guo Fan, a famous Chinese scholar, every day did 3 things
1) Wrote daily on whoever or whatever inspired him,ie learn from whoever he met.
2) Read history and learnt from the ancestors.
3) Soak his feet in warm water daily. This action can maintain a healthy body. With a healthy body then a person can perform all his role well.
A Japanese entrepreneur who gave up his business and become a monk, ever said 6 things to be diligent in
1) Give effort not lesser than others?
Normally we don't know we are blessed, until we lost something we have.The more effort we put, the higher abilities we have.
2) Be thankful as being alive.
How many people we should be thankful? From the rice we eat, the clothes we wear etc.There are so many people involved throughout the whole processes, hence the people we need to thank are too many.
Have we ever think of others' kindness?
Any hatred or ill wills on others, is like rubbish that should be throw away.
3) Always retrospect
Every day retrospect,any mistake I have done today? Whee should I change, so that I can progress? Have my wisdom upgraded? Have my worries reduced? if I have learn well today, my wisdom will be upgraded.If no learning, I will be remain at same level.If I am not learning well, I will be down graded.
4)Be humble
5)Always doing good deeds in order to benefit others.
eg give a warm smile to others and suitable greetings,queuing up, offer our seats in public
transport to those needy.
6)Do not have sentimental worries.
This can be done by not worrying unnecessarily. Do not sighed easily.Every thought is a seed for the fruit that are going to be reap in future,hence should think positively.Hence if we want to know future result, we should ask ourselves how much effort, we really put in?
Theb result of our job =Model of our thinking X passion X ability
Those who are loyal, will think of ways to do things in better ways.This will increase extra credits to their life.
Always think of others, always respect others.Eg if we care about our mother earth, we will use both side of the papers We will even used old model of hand phone for 7 to 8 years. This is the virtue of being thrifty.
Teacher Chai asked us to give ways to other when we leave the hall later,But do not to the extend that thinking of wanting accumulate good merits, both side also refuse to move and block the traffic.For those who go first, should say thank you to those who give ways.
We should treasure everything, including switching off light whenever we leave a room, check tap water and all switch for lights/fans are off when we are leaving our house.These good habits will internalize to be kind hearted which will benefit us for our whole life.
We should treat all our kids equally, without discriminations. Those we ignored, will feel inferior.Those we pamper, will be arrogant.
Don't differentiate, not attach, as all are 1 family.
We should extend our care to every living beings, eg before pouring hot water into a mug, make sure there is no ants inside the mug.While walking, watch our step,so that we will not step on any insects.As every living beings are scare of dying too. Master Hong Yi, used to rock his rocking chair before he lied on it as scared he would kill any insect accidentally.
We must not spreading any bad news, instead must propagate kind actions.
Worry about future is an irresponsible act as we ignore our current duty.
The above is talk given by Teacher Chai Li Xu at Chung Hwa Cultural Centre on 19.9.2011
Our life must like eating sugar cane from the top, when we eat closer to the root, the sweeter the taste. In our earlier part of life, we should work hard (including educate our kids properly).During the old age, enjoy the harvest.
Nowadays, we celebrate birthday with our kids even they are 2 or 3 years old. This is wrong as they are not contributing to the society yet.Actually it is an action which should not be encouraged. In fact, our birthday is our mother's suffering date,hence should thank our mother for bringing us to this world and for her hardship in delivering us also in bringing up us.
If we have bad habits, it is hard to change. However, we must take full responsibilities to change.
Many parents complaints that they teenagers are rebellious to them. Kids must be given proper education (eg instilling good moral values)since young age, then it is easier to teach.Just like playing badminton, we must take the shuttle cock when it is high. If the shuttle cock
is closer to the floor, it is harder to take.
曾国藩, Zeng Guo Fan, a famous Chinese scholar, every day did 3 things
1) Wrote daily on whoever or whatever inspired him,ie learn from whoever he met.
2) Read history and learnt from the ancestors.
3) Soak his feet in warm water daily. This action can maintain a healthy body. With a healthy body then a person can perform all his role well.
A Japanese entrepreneur who gave up his business and become a monk, ever said 6 things to be diligent in
1) Give effort not lesser than others?
Normally we don't know we are blessed, until we lost something we have.The more effort we put, the higher abilities we have.
2) Be thankful as being alive.
How many people we should be thankful? From the rice we eat, the clothes we wear etc.There are so many people involved throughout the whole processes, hence the people we need to thank are too many.
Have we ever think of others' kindness?
Any hatred or ill wills on others, is like rubbish that should be throw away.
3) Always retrospect
Every day retrospect,any mistake I have done today? Whee should I change, so that I can progress? Have my wisdom upgraded? Have my worries reduced? if I have learn well today, my wisdom will be upgraded.If no learning, I will be remain at same level.If I am not learning well, I will be down graded.
4)Be humble
5)Always doing good deeds in order to benefit others.
eg give a warm smile to others and suitable greetings,queuing up, offer our seats in public
transport to those needy.
6)Do not have sentimental worries.
This can be done by not worrying unnecessarily. Do not sighed easily.Every thought is a seed for the fruit that are going to be reap in future,hence should think positively.Hence if we want to know future result, we should ask ourselves how much effort, we really put in?
Theb result of our job =Model of our thinking X passion X ability
Those who are loyal, will think of ways to do things in better ways.This will increase extra credits to their life.
Always think of others, always respect others.Eg if we care about our mother earth, we will use both side of the papers We will even used old model of hand phone for 7 to 8 years. This is the virtue of being thrifty.
Teacher Chai asked us to give ways to other when we leave the hall later,But do not to the extend that thinking of wanting accumulate good merits, both side also refuse to move and block the traffic.For those who go first, should say thank you to those who give ways.
We should treasure everything, including switching off light whenever we leave a room, check tap water and all switch for lights/fans are off when we are leaving our house.These good habits will internalize to be kind hearted which will benefit us for our whole life.
We should treat all our kids equally, without discriminations. Those we ignored, will feel inferior.Those we pamper, will be arrogant.
Don't differentiate, not attach, as all are 1 family.
We should extend our care to every living beings, eg before pouring hot water into a mug, make sure there is no ants inside the mug.While walking, watch our step,so that we will not step on any insects.As every living beings are scare of dying too. Master Hong Yi, used to rock his rocking chair before he lied on it as scared he would kill any insect accidentally.
We must not spreading any bad news, instead must propagate kind actions.
Worry about future is an irresponsible act as we ignore our current duty.
The above is talk given by Teacher Chai Li Xu at Chung Hwa Cultural Centre on 19.9.2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Believe,faith and superstition - talk by Ajahn Brahm
-Always ask, why we do this?
There are 4 men soaking in rain, they are called wealth, success,peace and harmony. If you can only invite a person in, whom will you invite?The correct answer is harmony, as when harmony is exist in our house, the wealth, success and peace will follow too.
Power of chanting (praying) really works.There was an incident, that heavy rains stopped few hours before a ceremony, the sky was clear ,can even saw the moon. After the ceremony, the area was flooded.
Never trust fortune teller, as they cannot tell their fortune.One day a man came to see Ajahn Chah and he wished Ajahn can predict his future. Ajahn Chah held his palm and said ' your future is uncertain'. this is because the future is up to us. what we want will make it happen.
Steve Jobs, the co founder of Apple Inc,who was sacked from his company, had depression for a week. However due to his passion in IT, he set up another co PIxar Animation Studio.
You are the creator of your universal.
The most terrible ghost is bottle ghost, as cannot talk clearly, unable to walk in straight line and can kill oneself while driving.
A good monk will have little possessions.
Are you really ,really safe?As it is predicted 2012 will be end of the world. Ajahn said it won't come, as human like to worry.
when we feel stress, we should REST. after resting, it is easier to bare or pick up the burden. Burden becomes lighter and easier to cope.If it is too heavy to hold, and you do not know how to put it down, just LET GO.
It is not true that the more time you spend, the more job will be done. Meditation can improve the efficiency. It is because you rest your mind while meditation. meditation is the highest Dana you can give.
How to change stubborn person?
use negative phychology.
Ajahn said we need not to scare of ghost. If dreamed about ghost, we must ask the ghost for
Lottery number as the number will come out in normal circumstance.He even told us about Tsunami Ghost. A Thai lady had a bad dream, a lady who was a victim of tsunami, asked her to call her mother and informed her mother that she had been killed during the Tsunami. She told her her mother telephone no also asked her help to bury her, so that her mother won't be sad when see her body. the Thai lady managed to call the lady's mother and told her the incident.Later, the Thai lady dreamt about the deceased lady again, she gave her a lottery no. she bought the no, and she really won.Ajahn said next time if anyone who got any lottery no from any ghost via dream, please let him know as his temple need funds.
There are 4 men soaking in rain, they are called wealth, success,peace and harmony. If you can only invite a person in, whom will you invite?The correct answer is harmony, as when harmony is exist in our house, the wealth, success and peace will follow too.
Power of chanting (praying) really works.There was an incident, that heavy rains stopped few hours before a ceremony, the sky was clear ,can even saw the moon. After the ceremony, the area was flooded.
Never trust fortune teller, as they cannot tell their fortune.One day a man came to see Ajahn Chah and he wished Ajahn can predict his future. Ajahn Chah held his palm and said ' your future is uncertain'. this is because the future is up to us. what we want will make it happen.
Steve Jobs, the co founder of Apple Inc,who was sacked from his company, had depression for a week. However due to his passion in IT, he set up another co PIxar Animation Studio.
You are the creator of your universal.
The most terrible ghost is bottle ghost, as cannot talk clearly, unable to walk in straight line and can kill oneself while driving.
A good monk will have little possessions.
Are you really ,really safe?As it is predicted 2012 will be end of the world. Ajahn said it won't come, as human like to worry.
when we feel stress, we should REST. after resting, it is easier to bare or pick up the burden. Burden becomes lighter and easier to cope.If it is too heavy to hold, and you do not know how to put it down, just LET GO.
It is not true that the more time you spend, the more job will be done. Meditation can improve the efficiency. It is because you rest your mind while meditation. meditation is the highest Dana you can give.
How to change stubborn person?
use negative phychology.
Ajahn said we need not to scare of ghost. If dreamed about ghost, we must ask the ghost for
Lottery number as the number will come out in normal circumstance.He even told us about Tsunami Ghost. A Thai lady had a bad dream, a lady who was a victim of tsunami, asked her to call her mother and informed her mother that she had been killed during the Tsunami. She told her her mother telephone no also asked her help to bury her, so that her mother won't be sad when see her body. the Thai lady managed to call the lady's mother and told her the incident.Later, the Thai lady dreamt about the deceased lady again, she gave her a lottery no. she bought the no, and she really won.Ajahn said next time if anyone who got any lottery no from any ghost via dream, please let him know as his temple need funds.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Isogai Dynamic therapy - a method for controlling the health on a life long basis
The above mentioned isthe title of a book by Kimiyoshi Isogai / Yoshihito Isogai.
this book was introduced by my friend, Sally. Her sister has suffered from insonmia, as she used to wake up to urine in the middle of the night. she can't fell into sleep after she woke up.However, since she practiced the methods introduced under Isogai Dynamic Theraphy, she has no insonmia problem as she can sleep throughout the night, without waking up to urine.Now she has a radiant look.
This therapy work without any medication.
the theory of treatmentbis to keep bone healthy by correcting unbalance scatic joints.
According to the book imbalance between the left and right legs is the fundamental cause of illness.When the left leg is longer, one will have illness related to digestive system or/and urinary and reproductive system
this book was introduced by my friend, Sally. Her sister has suffered from insonmia, as she used to wake up to urine in the middle of the night. she can't fell into sleep after she woke up.However, since she practiced the methods introduced under Isogai Dynamic Theraphy, she has no insonmia problem as she can sleep throughout the night, without waking up to urine.Now she has a radiant look.
This therapy work without any medication.
the theory of treatmentbis to keep bone healthy by correcting unbalance scatic joints.
According to the book imbalance between the left and right legs is the fundamental cause of illness.When the left leg is longer, one will have illness related to digestive system or/and urinary and reproductive system
Chinese Traditional therapy to cure cough
1) boiled white radish water
For cough that persist for days,unable to fall into sleep.Every night cut half of a radish, cut into slices. Boiled until the radish is cooked.Sieves the water. drink the water when it is cooling down. cough will be reduced.Cough may cured completely if drink continuously for few days.
2) If cough due to ashtma and non stop. put some oilment onto front and sides of the neck. the cough will be relieved.
For cough that persist for days,unable to fall into sleep.Every night cut half of a radish, cut into slices. Boiled until the radish is cooked.Sieves the water. drink the water when it is cooling down. cough will be reduced.Cough may cured completely if drink continuously for few days.
2) If cough due to ashtma and non stop. put some oilment onto front and sides of the neck. the cough will be relieved.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
1st International learning camp (In mandarin )
Hi, friends,
Good news, for the 1st time Chung Hwa Cultural center in Seri Kembangan is going to organise the 1st learning camp for undergraduate.
If u know who are currently undergraduate or study in college & know Mandarin (target group age is 16-30, you MUST encourage them to attend. Why?
1)One will learn about factors to lead a happy & fulfilled life
2)It is FREE (healthy vegetarian food ,lodging also provided for those needed)
Only 100-160 participants will be taken, first come first serve basis,
Form is available in http://www.dizigui.com.my.
For inquiry pls call (03)8942-9798
those who are unable to attend, shd call the organiser,so that can arrange others to attend.
馬來西亞中華文化教育中心第一屆大學生
學習營報名簡章
幸福美滿的人生、溫暖和諧的家庭、互助互愛的社會，是每個人、每個家庭、每個族群的共同追求。有著幾千年歷史的中華文化，為這一目標的實現，提供了完備的智慧、經驗。為讓世界各國大學生瞭解中華文化，並加強交流與合作，馬來西亞中華文化教育中心擬定於2011年7月14日～19日舉辦第一屆國際大學生學習營。
教學目標：
通過培訓幫助各大學/學院華文社團組織建立起自己的中華傳統文化學習團隊，在初步明白倫理、道德、因果的基礎上掌握持續學習傳統文化的方向和方法；促進各院校間的傳統文化交流與合作，旨在通過和諧班級、和諧校園示範點的建立，樹立榜樣，改善大學生的社會形象。
教學重點：
職業生涯規劃與幸福人生、孝道與師道、兩性關係、女德、生活禮儀與技能、健康、環保與養生等。
授課語言：
全部課程均用華語授課
師資：
本中心講師或國內外各行業力行、落實優秀傳統文化並有教學和推展經驗的專家、教育工作者。
報名方法：
主辦單位：馬來西亞中華文化教育中心
對 象：各大學/學院的在讀大學生、研究生（年齡在16～30 周歲之間）；各院校華文協會（傳統文化研究會等）的骨幹或負責人；全程參與並入住中心者優先錄取
人 數：100-160人
日 期：2011年7月14日(四)至19日(二)，共計六天
地 點：馬來西亞中華文化教育中心—3樓【明倫堂】
地 址：3rd Floor，Commercial Block，The Heritage， Jln SB Dagang，43300 Seri Kembangan，Selangor Darul Ehsan，Malaysia.(http://www.dizigui.com.my/index.php/bu-gao-lan/91-dizhi/507-dizhi)
費 用：學習期間食宿費用全免。全部健康蔬食。
備 注：1）會場及宿舍也都有室內空調冷氣，請依各人狀況攜帶輕便外套。會場內建議自備帽子、頭巾，以遮蔽上方空調直吹頭部。
2）請在報名表中詳細注明“是否需要住宿”；需要在中心住宿者，請自備六天的換洗衣物、毛巾和個人洗漱用品；
報名方式：（恕不受理電話及臨時報名）
一、 索取報名表：報名表下载
Ø 網路下載：馬來西亞中華文化教育中心 http://www.dizigui.com.my
Ø 傳真索取：馬來西亞中華文化教育中心 (03)8942-9798
二、 傳真報名： (03)8942-9798 馬來西亞中華文化教育中心
三、 E-mail報名：請務必附上詳細完整的報名表，並於郵件主旨寫：報名大學生學習營+您的姓名，收件電子信箱： dzg.ch@dizigui.com.my
四、 報名時間：即日起開始報名，至2011年5月31日(星期二)截止
(提早報名者將優先考慮)
五、 錄取通知：2011年6月15日以前，將以電話或E-mail方式通知錄取學員；未收到通知者即為沒有錄取，中心無法接待活動期間自行前往之朋友,敬請見諒。
六、 報到日期：2011年7月13日，下午4：00～6：00 或
2011年7月14日, 早上8：00～9：00
七、 課程結束日期與時間：2011年7月19日下午5：00
八、 報到須知：將會於錄取通知時告知相關訊息。
九、 取消報名：若臨時不能參加講座，最晚請於活動開始前一週，務必提前來電03-89427792/3/4告知取消，以便把機會讓給候補學員，非常感恩您的配合。
馬來西亞中華文化教育中心
二零一一年三月十日
Good news, for the 1st time Chung Hwa Cultural center in Seri Kembangan is going to organise the 1st learning camp for undergraduate.
If u know who are currently undergraduate or study in college & know Mandarin (target group age is 16-30, you MUST encourage them to attend. Why?
1)One will learn about factors to lead a happy & fulfilled life
2)It is FREE (healthy vegetarian food ,lodging also provided for those needed)
Only 100-160 participants will be taken, first come first serve basis,
Form is available in http://www.dizigui.com.my.
For inquiry pls call (03)8942-9798
those who are unable to attend, shd call the organiser,so that can arrange others to attend.
馬來西亞中華文化教育中心第一屆大學生
學習營報名簡章
幸福美滿的人生、溫暖和諧的家庭、互助互愛的社會，是每個人、每個家庭、每個族群的共同追求。有著幾千年歷史的中華文化，為這一目標的實現，提供了完備的智慧、經驗。為讓世界各國大學生瞭解中華文化，並加強交流與合作，馬來西亞中華文化教育中心擬定於2011年7月14日～19日舉辦第一屆國際大學生學習營。
教學目標：
通過培訓幫助各大學/學院華文社團組織建立起自己的中華傳統文化學習團隊，在初步明白倫理、道德、因果的基礎上掌握持續學習傳統文化的方向和方法；促進各院校間的傳統文化交流與合作，旨在通過和諧班級、和諧校園示範點的建立，樹立榜樣，改善大學生的社會形象。
教學重點：
職業生涯規劃與幸福人生、孝道與師道、兩性關係、女德、生活禮儀與技能、健康、環保與養生等。
授課語言：
全部課程均用華語授課
師資：
本中心講師或國內外各行業力行、落實優秀傳統文化並有教學和推展經驗的專家、教育工作者。
報名方法：
主辦單位：馬來西亞中華文化教育中心
對 象：各大學/學院的在讀大學生、研究生（年齡在16～30 周歲之間）；各院校華文協會（傳統文化研究會等）的骨幹或負責人；全程參與並入住中心者優先錄取
人 數：100-160人
日 期：2011年7月14日(四)至19日(二)，共計六天
地 點：馬來西亞中華文化教育中心—3樓【明倫堂】
地 址：3rd Floor，Commercial Block，The Heritage， Jln SB Dagang，43300 Seri Kembangan，Selangor Darul Ehsan，Malaysia.(http://www.dizigui.com.my/index.php/bu-gao-lan/91-dizhi/507-dizhi)
費 用：學習期間食宿費用全免。全部健康蔬食。
備 注：1）會場及宿舍也都有室內空調冷氣，請依各人狀況攜帶輕便外套。會場內建議自備帽子、頭巾，以遮蔽上方空調直吹頭部。
2）請在報名表中詳細注明“是否需要住宿”；需要在中心住宿者，請自備六天的換洗衣物、毛巾和個人洗漱用品；
報名方式：（恕不受理電話及臨時報名）
一、 索取報名表：報名表下载
Ø 網路下載：馬來西亞中華文化教育中心 http://www.dizigui.com.my
Ø 傳真索取：馬來西亞中華文化教育中心 (03)8942-9798
二、 傳真報名： (03)8942-9798 馬來西亞中華文化教育中心
三、 E-mail報名：請務必附上詳細完整的報名表，並於郵件主旨寫：報名大學生學習營+您的姓名，收件電子信箱： dzg.ch@dizigui.com.my
四、 報名時間：即日起開始報名，至2011年5月31日(星期二)截止
(提早報名者將優先考慮)
五、 錄取通知：2011年6月15日以前，將以電話或E-mail方式通知錄取學員；未收到通知者即為沒有錄取，中心無法接待活動期間自行前往之朋友,敬請見諒。
六、 報到日期：2011年7月13日，下午4：00～6：00 或
2011年7月14日, 早上8：00～9：00
七、 課程結束日期與時間：2011年7月19日下午5：00
八、 報到須知：將會於錄取通知時告知相關訊息。
九、 取消報名：若臨時不能參加講座，最晚請於活動開始前一週，務必提前來電03-89427792/3/4告知取消，以便把機會讓給候補學員，非常感恩您的配合。
馬來西亞中華文化教育中心
二零一一年三月十日
Friday, February 18, 2011
Surviving Relationship
- Relationship here means relationship with ourselves/ own mind, parter, kids, relative & friends.
- 3 ring of marriage 1)engagement ring. 2)wedding ring 3)suffe'ring'
- In the first year of marriage , the husband listen to the wife.In the second year of marriage the wife listen to the husband.In the third year of marriage the neighbour listen to both of them.
- Married man will have married man's suffering.Single woman will have single woman's suffering. Nun will have nun's suffering. It is justthe changes is in the flavour of suffering. Once there is a woman who want to divorce, while her younger sister can't find a right man to be married. Ajahn suggested them to 'swap'
- In marriage ceremony, Ajahn use to told the both the bridegroom and bride. From this moment, you must't think of yourself or your partner. If think of oneself it is selfish. If think of partner only, it is selfless. Both way will never work Instead should think of 'us'.It is 'our' problem,both side must solve together, working together on how to work forward.
- Not blaming each other, as in a blame game, nobody will win. His master,Ajahn Cha once said: “Blaming other people is like having an itch on your head and scratching your bum.”
- To have harmony in our life & have win-win situation for all.
- Ajahn suggest we have 'forgiveness ceremony' every year to write these words & give to others.
- 'For the past 12 months, if my action, speech or thinking have deliberately or unintentionally hurt you. Please give your forgiveness.I should not have done all these to cause you pain. I am a human, I make mistake too.
- During Q&A session, Ajahn was asked'How many time a wife should forgive a man who have adultery?' Ajahn answered 'Always 1 more time. As the past was done. Forgiveness is investment for your future.
- If your kids do not tell you anything. Ma be they afraid will be scolded or punished by you as they know the truth is not valued.
- If you have 'manager from hell' in your office. Think like this. You just live with them 8-9 hours daily. They also treated themselves by the way they treated you. hence, must be compassionate.
- When you are honest with yourself, nothing can't be solved.
- No one is perfect, everyone make mistake. Peace within yourself is more important.Why care who is right?
- What is most important during meditation is the relationship with what you experienced If you fall asleep, allow it to be. Let it be, don't get angry.
- be patience/ be gentle/be kind/ be peace with your mind. No matter what you experienced.How you relate to the object of meditation is more important.
- Whatever you do, who ever you turn up, the door of my heart will always open to you.
- Forgive then encourage their goodness via positive reinforcement, eg via praise. Just like training dolphin. When they make mistake, we don't punished.When they make improvement, we reward them with fish. Ajahn suggest to use same technique to train husband. Eg husband come back early, have party. If kids can't find his clothes, don't scold, just ignore him. When he found his clothes, give him a big hug & kiss.He will not keep on finding his clothes again
- People likes to judge us. So we need to choose nice words to be listened, ignore those unkind words.
- Relationship is very fragile. Hence we must care without attachment as we are going to be separated one day. eg:"Thank you for being my friend, see you next time"
- Keep memories of happy moment.Let go of painful memories.
- Lead simple life & retire younger.We are bombarded by advertisement to spent,hence may buy something that we don't need. To counter react, we should go temple more often , as no advertisement & it is free.
- It is about 10pm, Ajahn asked is there any questions from the floor. A dog barked 3 times & broke the silence. Ajahn said 'Well, I think it is time to end the talk As the barking in dog language is Sadhu(x3).
Talk by Ajahn Brahm at Wat Chetawan on 19.12.2010
How to forgive ?
- It cover 2 areas : 1)Forgive others 2)Forgive ourselves
- Forgive is to able to let go of pain/ hurt/ guilty of past
- It is important to forgive by : 1)convincing ourselve that we don't own kama of others 2)seeing the good quality of others that worth us to forgive them.
- Why are u allowing others to hurt you? It is not your mistake, yet is their bad kamma & their fault.
- Don't suffer the anger. You are in charge of your mind
- Don't let anyone control of your happiness.
- You are master of your emotion
- let go pain of the past
- If we don't forgive, we are punishing ourselves & others.
- We don't need to punish them. Law of kamma will get them.
- The is a novice monk who broke the 8 precept by eating some sandwich in the kitchen. He later asked Ajahn Brahm to punish him as if he didn't punish him, he might do it again.Ajahn said'thank you for confessing. I won't punish you. Next time when you are hungry, there are many drink you can take, like honey,molasses etc. You are punished with 50 times of strokes.' The kid got a shock as he didn't imagine he will get such severe punishment. Actually it is 50 times of strokes on a cat, so that he can learn about kindness & then can forgive himself.
- prisoners will commit crime again despite being prisoned (punished)
- There is always something we can do, eg use the pain and change into sweet compassion & wisdom as manifest in the story of Who Ordered this Truckload of Dung?. One day you open your door & found out there are heap of cow dung in front of your house. You ar e puzzled as you didn't order it & you didn't know who placed it in front of your house.With ‘cow poo’ as a metaphor for life’s less appealing challenges, Brahm explains how we each find ourselves at times with a truckload of (emotional, psychological or practical) manure at our front door.“What do you do with all this poo?” he asks. “To remove it or you can try to stuff your pockets with it. But then you will smell and lose friends.” As with life, when our challenges seem to stink to high heaven, we can wander around in stress and misery, carrying that poop in our pockets. At first, our friends will show us compassion and understanding. True friends will support our challenge. But after a while, even the closest friends don’t want to keep hanging around the smell of crap.“Instead, we must take that dung and use it like manure, slowly tilling it into our gardens,” says Brahm. Even though you didn’t order the problem, you are stuck with it and it stinks. If you carry it around you start to smell so you better find some other way to get rid of it. Ajahn Brahm says that this is the law of karma at work. “No matter what comes to you in life, make something good out of it.”Of course, when we are in the midst of such challenges, it is not always so easy. Sometimes life seems to throw things at us we just weren’t asking for. But Brahm argues that if we blame others, we get no closer to the solution. Apologizing for his language, he then quotes his forest monastery teacher. A country man not accustomed to the eloquent speech of the elite, Ajahn Cha once put it this way: “Blaming other people is like having an itch on your head and scratching your bum.” He urged his listeners “Don’t allow anyone else to destroy your happiness. It is up to you – you are in full control of your life.”It is clear that Brahm is not a man bent on converting, but one who genuinely seeks to help his fellow human by offering insight, compassion and accessible wisdom. Ajahn Brahm believes that any religion should be about happiness. His book and lectures aim for just that with excellent use of humorous stories to illustrate aspects of Buddhism in action. These tales resonate with the challenges and personal foibles we all experience regardless of religious affiliation.And what is the garden? The garden is our character; it is the wisdom that comes with experience and suffering. After all, some of the healthiest gardens have been tilled with lots of manure. Life brings challenges, of that there is little doubt. What we do with those challenges, according to Brahm, is what matters. Do we nurture the garden of our lives and grow from the experience, or do we wander through life stinking like poop?
The above are talk given by Ajahn Brahmavamso at Wat Chetawan 24/12/2010
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